Tuesday, July 9, 2013

5 crafty books to make you go "WTH? DO WANT!"

"I was once fired as opening act for Seals and Crofts because I got loaded and introduced them as Arts and Crafts."
- George Miller

I'm a thwarted crafts person. Seriously. I can't craft for peanuts. Everything ends disastrously. When trying knitting on for size I dropped stitches, made stitches up, broke wooden needles and ended up with an unfinished drunken looking scarf. (To this day it sits buried at the bottom of one of my many bags as a mark of crafts-shame). Crochet...ugh, let's not talk about that. Mosaics...yikes, who knew that was dangerous? Scrapbooking...oh, it was way too fiddly for me. The only crafty experimenty type thing I did reasonably well was decoupage. And only then because I used graphic novel images taken from old comic books. (I figure better to use images I actually identify with - what do you mean I'm not a Maori/female version of Wolverine? - than cutesy pretty things I feel nothing for). I mean, sure, my pants have Mod Podge stains that will never come out, and let's not talk about how I nearly sliced my finger off and, while we're at it, let's not even mention the body parts glue can stick to. The point is, I quite clearly suck at crafts. This doesn't stop me from enjoying craft books, though. I'm not sure how that works. And the more bizarre/strange/unusual/funny (haha and weird) the book THE BETTER. Am I, right? (The only proper answer here is "Yes, Tosca, you in your all knowing wisdom are RIGHT."). I've rounded up the following five books that have caught my eye and turned them into this post. Probably for my own entertainment more than yours. You don't know the LOLs I LOLd before requesting these. Now I have to find someone to make some for me because me and crafts? Life endangering. Request, and enjoy, people :)

Also worth a mention:
The bad book / Aranzi Aronzo
In the world of kawaii (Japanese cute), little kitties, pandas, bunnies and the like are standard fare, but who ever heard of The Bad Buy, The Liar, or The Thief? Aranzi Aranzo takes the notorious cuteness of Japanese crafts and takes them to the next level with The Bad Book, full of mischief and fun!

Comment: I don't know what any of this means. I just know I *have* to request it to find out.

Dog hair : the best doggy hair-dos for fashion-consious hounds!
Dogs can be fashion victims just like the rest of us. Take yourself on a journey through the highs and lows of doggy hairdos, including mullets, perms, sleek bouncy locs and mohicans. Dog Hair has 75 of the most cutting edge styles - feel inspired and pamper your pooch. Whether you have a spaniel, a poodle or a mongrel, your furry friend will love their makeover.

Comment: Technically, not a crafts book BUT I COULDN'T RESIST. I mean, really.

Knit your own moustache : create 20 knit and crochet disguises / Vicky Eames
If you have ever wanted to transform yourself into a different character, this is the book for you. Become a Victorian gent, a pirate or even a rabbit by simply donning one of our fantastic knitted disguises! The hilarious projects - beards, moustaches, wigs, glasses and even a knitted bald head - will allow you to change your appearance in a flash.

Comment: NO. WAY. NO WAY. This is what I did when I saw this on the new books list: Scream, clap out loud,  show Danielle, email it to my team members, message it to Natalie (sitting in the building across the square), answer a query about it, put it on our Facebook page in the "Library things that make you go hmmm..." album, add it to the Pop Culture eNewsletter while chortling, request it for my Team Leader, and tweet about it on the work account. No BS. Confession: I might be somewhat obsessed with moustaches. I wear a moustache. By that I mean that sometimes I buy costume ones and wear them just because I can. (You have not lived until you've spent the day wearing an Hercule Poirot inspired moustache). In fact, sometimes Mr3 will wear one right along with me, too. (Although not for a while because he said they itch - honestly, no commitment to the cause). Admittedly, I could probably grown one of my own, but there's no way it'd be of handlebar length. (You don't know how almost-gutted I am by that, and I am not even kidding). I buy moustache straws, moustache magnets, moustache pencils, and moustache ice cube trays for friends because...why not? And every now and then I like to sneak across the road to Moustache because COOKIES. And I'm not even repentant.

Knitted mug hugs / Val Pierce
Mug cosies are a new and growing trend in home knitting, and are arguably the most stylish way to keep your hot drinks warm. With this book you can knit them quickly and easily. There are 20 'mug hugs' to choose from and 20 alternative colourways, ranging in style from traditional to contemporary, fun and funky to cute and homely. All the designs can be easily adapted to match your home style or colour scheme, or to complement your favourite set of coffee cups.

Comment: Because OBVIOUSLY mugs need hugs. See two titles below. Mugs aren't all they need, apparently.

Star Trek cross-stitch : explore strange new worlds of crafting / by John Lohman
This is a collection of thirty cross-stitch projects made with love by Star Trek fans. If you’re looking for ideas for putting your favorite character on a tote bag or pillow—or perhaps hanging a lovely framed "Qo'noS Sweet Qo'noS" in the entryway to let everyone know that a Klingon-speaker lives here - then look no farther. Whether you're a lifelong Trekkie or just a Starfleet cadet, you can show your Star Trek pride by decorating your home, your clothes, and your children with cross-stitched Star Trek quotes and iconic images.

Comment: "Decoraing your home...and your children..." YOUR CHILDREN. Somebody needs to give me children so I can decorate them with Star Trek THINGS and STUFF. I suspect that once my siblings read this, I will never be allowed to babysit again. I'm not sure who wins in that instance - me or them?

Mug rugs / Christa Rolf
Smaller than a placemat but larger than a coaster, mug rugs are the perfect size for your cup or mug and a cookie or two. Here are 22 different designs, all using simple quilting and applique techniques.

Comment: Mugs need rugs. And hugs. Which makes me wonder if they can be combined - huggy rugs? Ruggy hugs? Gah.

Brick city : LEGO for grown ups / Warren Elsmore
Brick City is a celebration of the world's favourite buildings and urban icons, recreated solely using LEGO bricks. While to many, LEGO bricks are 'just a toy', to an ever-growing army of fans they provide a challenging and enjoyable modelling medium. These fans, calling themselves 'AFOLs', or Adult Fans of LEGO, have taken it upon themselves to recreate local landmarks using just the bricks that you may find at a local store. LEGO models created by adult fans, however, don't resemble those that many people created as a child. Created by masters of their medium, these fabulously detailed models may contain thousands of pieces - or perhaps just a handful. Either way, the talented artists have an intimate knowledge of every piece and colour available. Skilfully choosing the ideal piece to recreate a well-known landmark, they may create a model indistinguishable from the real thing, or evoke the spirit of a building in just a few small pieces. In fact, landmarks and cityscapes - from the New York skyline to the Sagrada Familia, London's St Pancras and the amazing towers of Beijing and Hong Kong - have long been a source of inspiration for LEGO builders. In this book, LEGO artist Warren Elsmore takes us on a world tour and explores more than 30 global cities and their iconic structures.

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