Monday, February 13, 2012

5 spoilers for books, tv, film and life I'm not upset to have...umm...spoiler-ed

List by Tosca

"Here is the perfect book for everyone who reads the last page of a book first."
- Robb Pearlman, Spoiler alert : Bruce Willis is dead and 399 more endings from movies, tv, books, and life

SPOILER ALERT! If you do not enjoy spoilers of any kind then AVOID THIS POST!

If you're more like me, and you live for spoilers, then stay a little longer. It sounds strange to say that I live for spoilers, but it's true. I quite happily nip into libraries and bookstores and flip to the last page of a book to see how it ends. And yes, I still take it home/buy it. I get so impatient for weekly episodes of any one of my current favourite shows, and jump online and read ahead. And by 'read ahead' I don't just mean finding out what happens next. I also look out for reviews, fandom opinions (haters and all), debates (that usually turn into flame wars), fanvids (some truly terrible and most really good) and, if I'm lucky enough, even cast interviews. And yes, I do the same for movies, too. I have no hang-ups whatsoever about my inability to wait and be surprised. Truth be told, even if I have read ahead/looked ahead, I am surprised when events unfold, and squeal, cry, clap and chortle as if I knew nothing. (Mostly because half the time I've forgotten what I'd read, anyway). Imagine my absolute delight, then, to find that we have a book that is all about the spoiler and nothing but the spoiler. The spoiler book to end all spoiler books. Spoilers, in fact, for everything I could ever wish to have spoiled. And, for this post, I get to pick which ones I liked/laughed at/was surprised by the most. Yay me!

Honourable mention:
  • #240 It's Pocahontas. In space. And blue. (Avatar)
  • #62 You will not want to look at what's going on in the attic. (Flowers in the Attic)
  • #63 They look in the attic. (The Diary of Anne Frank)
  • #46 Bella marries Edward (The Twilight Saga)
  • #27 Strippers are nice to everyone
  • #15 You will like him more when he's angry (The Incredible Hulk)
  • #132 Laura Palmer was killed by her father (Twin Peaks)
  • #83 The swan dies (Swan Lake)
  • Natalie Portman dies (Black Swan)

  • Movie spoilers: Best series of spoilers about films with planes
    #285 Karen Black lands the plane
    - Airport

    #286 Robert Hays lands the plane
    - Airplane!

    #287 The plane lands in the ocean
    - Airport '77

    #288 Hilary Swank never really lands the plane, per se, anywhere
    - Amelia

    #289 Jack Lemmon moves on to a plane where neither days nor dates hold meaning
    - Tuesdays with Morrie

    Life spoilers: Most unusual online spoilers that may not be spoilers (or true)
    #122 Your Facebook friends aren't really your friends

    #123 Nobody reads your blog

    #124 Mark Zuckerberg makes billions from our inability to keep anything private

    Movie spoilers: Things I had thought about in my head but never voiced aloud
    #266 Darth Vader is Luke's father
    - The Empire Strikes Back

    #265 Luke and Leia are twins
    - Return of the Jedi

    #266 The kiss between Luke and Leia is, in retrospect, a little unsettling
    - Star Wars

    Movie spoilers: Best series of spoilers about dance films ever
    #78 They all dance
    - Footloose

    #79 Some of them dance
    - A Chorus Line

    #80 She never stops dancing
    - Red Shoes

    #81 He becomes a professional dancer
    - Billy Elliott

    #82 They never dance again
    - West Side Story

    TV spoiler: Saddest spoiler ever
    #36 Sam never makes it home.
    - Quantum Leap

    Tosca's comment: I adored the tv show Quantum Leap but, somewhere as a teen, never finished the series. So...what happened to Sam? Did he die? Did he get lost in transit? Or is he forever destined to travel time, fixing history as he goes, with Al forever at his side? I find that appallingly sad.


    breve711 said...

    I'm a few holds away from getting this book, and i don't wanna spoil it by reading today's blog...but i really want to...aaahh

    catatonia said...

    I returned my copy last week, so hopefully it won't take too much longer for it to come through :) I do see that we've ordered another 2 copies so YAY! Wow, I admire you for being able to NOT read this post - I have no 'won't power' whatsoever for spoilers *is impressed*

    breve711 said...

    i'm number 5 of 6 holds, so we'll see how long my willpower lasts :)

    breve711 said...

    So I finally got this this morning...hilarious! One thing I wish I didn't "spoil" though, is who killed Laura Palmer?! I just finished watching season one of Twin Peaks, and am waiting for season two to arrive! (watched when I was a kid but don't remember it) oh well, i should've known better :)

    tosca said...

    TWIN PEAKS! One of my most favourite tv shows ever. I had the hugest crush on Agent Dale Cooper *sigh* And wanted so much for him to end up with Audrey. (Looking back, though, that would've been more than creepy because she was underage). Sorry you accidentally spoiled the ending for yourself :( Probably doesn't help much but it's more than worth seeing how he unravels. Brilliantly insane. I'm gutted I spoiled the Quantum Leap ending for myself.

    breve711 said...

    yep, was crushing on agent cooper when i was watching a couple of weeks ago :) and audrey's 18...which doesn't make it any less creepy