Thursday, December 30, 2010

Top 5 most unusual and/or most hilarious romance novel titles I've seen all month that make me want to request them

List by Tosca

"Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?"
- Stephen Colbert

I heart romance books! They're a guaranteed happy (albeit sometimes cliché) ending where everybody wins (and maybe the bad guy gets his comeuppance because what's a little romance without a shootout, right?). Everytime I read a new romance novel (bad, good or great) it always feels a little bit like Christmas. The characters are new to me and it's their dynamics - how they get on, the way they talk to each other, the chemistry, etc. (doesn't 'etc.' cover all manner of euphemisms?) - that make the story. But when I'm hunting for a romance novel to read, what catches my eye, or fancy, depends primarily on where or how I'm searching. If I'm physically browsing the shelves then I'm a total cover junkie - team chest, team back, team biceps - headless men everywhere. If I'm cruising the catalogue then I'm heavily relying on the funny (haha and weird) title factor and I'm almost 100% certain you will agree that the books below totally belong on this list.

Now might be a good time to point out that I am in no way poking fun of the authors. I ADORE these titles! And I hope you do, too :) Enjoy.

Honourable mentions (in no particular order)
* Rescuing pregnant Cinderella by - Whoa, Cinders lost more than her glass slipper! I was gutted to find that we do not have this title. How could we not? It's fantastic!
* Innocent virgin, wild surrender by Anne Mather
* Bound to the barbarian by Carol Townend - Yet another title we don't have :(
* Surf, sea and a sexy stranger by Heidi Rice
* Major daddy by Cara Colter
* Buttoned up secretary, British boss by Susanne James
* The nurse who saved Christmas by Janice Lynn
* Mistletoe and the lost stiletto by Liz Fielding

Naive bride, defiant wife / Lynne Graham (Secretly Pregnant, Conveniently Wed book 1)
Alejandro Navarro Vasquez, the Conde Olivares, has long desired vengeance… His wife betrayed him with an act that by the proud Spaniard’s code was unforgivable. What’s more, the breakdown of their marriage is a bitter truth which undermines Alejandro’s every achievement. Alejandro’s opportunity for justice comes when the private detective he’s hired pinpoints Jemima’s whereabouts…and delivers the news that she has a two-year-old son. Clearly her wanton ways have led to an illegitimate birth… But no matter: Alejandro is determined to settle the score with his runaway wife.

Tosca's note: This title is included more for the title of the series than the actual title of the book, after all, how can I resist 'Secretly pregnant, conveniently wed' heroines?

Stranded, seduced...pregnant / Kim Lawrence
Lovely Neve Macleod’s life is shrouded by scandal. The tabloids delight in branding her a scarlet widow, but in reality her marriage was for convenience. She’s still a virgin, and a caring single stepmother – but no one wants to hear the truth… That is until she finds herself stranded and snowbound with brooding tycoon Severo Constanza – an unlikely saviour. As the magnificent Italian comes to her rescue he knows nothing of her salacious past – just that she’s pure at present!

Tosca's note: I have no idea how the 3 go together :)

Single father, surprise prince! / Raye Morgan
Libby spent her life nurturing children. So when her best friend’s daughter was left orphaned, Libby lost no time in opening her heart to Morgan. Yet she never expected to feel sparks for Morgan’s guardian, troubled billionaire Jess. SINGLE Father, Surprise Prince! Nothing on the battleground could have prepared soldier Joe for being a single dad! But Joe will do anything to keep precious Mei and he’s thankful for Kelly’s help…until she reveals his secret heritage! Could her bombshell destroy their budding attraction?

Tosca's note: Natalie pointed out to me recently that a lot of Mills & Boon titles contain commas and that often the first half of the title does not in any way appear to have anything to do with the last half. Or at least, not that we can see, but I'm intrigued. I also want to know if the use of the exclamation mark in the title matches the story (I know, I'm weird, but it makes sense in my head).

Captured and crowned / Janette Kenny
The arrogant King’s untouched bride Demetria Andreou has only a few hours of freedom left! Playboy Prince Kristo Stanrakis must take his brother’s place as King of Angyra – and he’s planning to take Demetria, his brother’s fiancĂ©e, for his queen. Only Kristo realises innocent Demetria was his for the taking a year ago – when, as strangers, they nearly made love on sun-baked white sands. The arrogant King’s contempt for his reluctant bride is only matched by his burning desire to finish what they started…

Tosca's note: Am assuming this has nothing to do with dentistry (crowned: artificial crown on a tooth) or coins (crowned: stamped with a crowned head) or botany (crowned: upper part of a tree) or one's head (crowned: top or highest part of the head) YET these are what came to mind as soon as I saw the title :)

Venus guy trap / Shannon McKelden
Almost thirty-three and with no Prince Charming in sight, Haydee is on the brink of panic. When Venus, the Goddess of Love, comes to give Haydee's love life the tune-up of a lifetime, is it her last chance for happiness?

Tosca's note: *blinks* Heck, yes, this is at #1 with a title like that! Can't wait for it to come in :)


Shannon McKelden said...

Oh how fun!! I've been really blessed with two fun titles...Venus Envy and Venus Guy Trap! I'm really honored that you loved it, too!

Happy Reading!

Shannon McKelden

catatonia said...

Kia ora Shannon, thanks for the comment! I'm a sucker for funny titles and covers :) I can't believe I've never read your books before. Terrible romace newsletter editor!

Happy new year :)

The "Other" Librarian said...

How about, forbidden or for-bedding. I kid you not >< we have it in our catalogue.

catatonia said...

Natalie and I saw that one! And we both kinda giggled and then stopped and thought, 'Wait! If the author doesn't know how am I supposed to?' and so I didn't request that one :P