Monday, August 23, 2010

Top 5 new large print romance titles that made me go, 'WTF?!'

List by Tosca

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
- Joan Crawford

I heart romance books. What isn't to love about a guaranteed happy ending? The guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after *sigh* It doesn't say anything about arguing over the dishes and how man colds are ten times than worse than woman colds or how the guy has to rub your feet just because's all implied, right? Right! As much as I heart romance books, sometimes the titles make me go, 'WTF?!' and I either burst out laughing or get mad. The titles below are 5 large print romance examples I've found just in the last week or two alone in Cataloguing & Acquisitions.

Ordinarily, I have lots of gripes about large print romance titles because (and I hope you're listening, large print publishing companies) the covers are usually BUTT UGLY. Yes, that's right, I said it. Large print romance covers usually have some generic crappy image with gimongous writing that look like something I put together while dangerously ill. I totally understand that the books are for people who need large text - but they need pretty covers, too, just like everyone else. So if it's a romance story please GIVE US A PROPER ROMANCE COVER. I'm just saying. Although, you know, having said that, these ones are Mills & Boon and they give good cover :)

Have you come across titles that gave you the giggles or made you go, 'What on earth!'? We'd love to hear about them if you did. Simply leave a comment :0)

Definite runner-ups that caught my eye/funnybone:
* Desert ice daddy by Dana Marton
* Tall dark defender by Beth Cornelison
* Untamed Italian, blackmailed innocent by Jacqueline Baird
* The cattleman's adopted family by Barbara Hannay
* Greek tycoon, inexperienced mistress by Lynne Graham
* The outback bachelor by Margaret Way - not being an outback kinda girl my first thought is, 'Did he think that if he didn't live in the back of beyond he might not be a bachelor...?'

The family he wanted / Karen sandler
Raised without a father, Jana McPartland did not want the same for her unborn baby. So when the daddy-to-be took a hike, she turned to Sam Harrison. He's always been her refuge in the storm. He offered her a roof over her head and all of the safety she craved. But as a former foster kid, Sam wasn't the type of man who stepped out of his comfort zone - until he proposed!

Tosca's note: The family he opposed to the one he DIDN'T want?!

Oh-so-sensible secretary / Jessica Hart
Here - at last - was my new boss, lounging in the doorway and smiling an irresistibly lopsided smile. You know that feeling when a gust of wind catches you unawares? When it swirls round you, leaving you ruffled but invigorated? Well, that's what it felt like the first time I, Summer Curtis, laid eyes on Phin Gibson. I've got to get a grip! Phin might be delicious, but he's also completely impossible. Always late, totally disorganised - my complete opposite. But somehow he's getting under my skin.

Tosca's note: I like Jessica Hart's books but this title made me do a double-take because my mind went off on a tangent for other possible titles: 'The oh-so-anal-rententive and slightly obsessive compulsive accountant' and 'The oh-so-naughty-after-hours pole dancer' etc. I know! I'm totally immature! Know what I do like about the cover, though? She's pretty and kinda real looking YAY.

Vicar's daughter to Viscount's lady / Louise Allen
"Seduced, abandoned and pregnant, Arabella Shelley is determined her baby’s father will support them. Horrified to discover his death, she is shocked at the demand of his brother, the handsome, inscrutable Viscount Hadleigh. To legitimise her unborn child, she must marry him instead! ... As Bella struggles with her unfamiliar, luxurious new lifestyle, and her scandalous desire for her stranger-husband, will she find a love that matches the passion of their marriage bed?" -- Publisher description.

Tosca's note: Sounds about as exciting as a chess move! Think about the movie 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' where Ron barks out, 'Knight to H3!' Did that sound romantic? No. Heck, you can't even fit any innuendo in there whatsoever. Umm which is probably just as well considering it's a kiddie movie but you get my point.

The master's mistress / Carole Mortimer
"Hired to catalogue the Sullivan House library, Elizabeth Brown is in her element. Books she can handle. Men – well, she’s a little less experienced in that department. She’s certainly not at all prepared for the unexpected arrival of the master of the house, Rogan Sullivan! Rogan is dark, dangerous and wickedly sexy – exactly the kind of man Elizabeth has read she should stay away from. But it’s not long before Rogan is showing his virgin librarian reasons why she should let herself be seduced by a masterful rogue…"-- Publisher description.

Tosca's note: It might just be me (and I'm hoping it's not because what does that say about me?) but the title brings to mind the idea of domination and submission and if she isn't being spanked, punished and/or tied up then do you really want to call your book that...?

The Lord's forced bride / Anne Herries
A dark and handsome stranger fighting in a town square mesmerizes youthful, innocent Catherine Melford. His shirt off, his skin glistening with sweat--he's all man! On meeting him again in the opulence of the royal court, Catherine finds her desire is more aroused than ever. But he is Andrew, Earl of Gifford, and bad blood runs between their families. And he is the lord she'll be forced to wed!

Tosca's note: I love love love Anne Herries' books so the title of this one almost gave me whiplash. I was all like 'HUH?!' so immediately looked it up online and the reviews are quite good so, naturally enough, it's on my request list. But whoa. My feminist instincts rebelled (and I didn't even know I had any).

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