Monday, August 30, 2010

Top 5 audiobook trolley-finds

List by Tosca

"It's just different discipline, just doing the voice over..."
- Blair Underwood

A long-winded intro follows - you have been warned! Up until late last year I hadn't tried an audiobook since I was a kid. Those who know me (either IRL, via Twitter, my blog or Facebook) will know that to date my audiobook experiences have been fairly disastrous and nothing short of hilarious. I belong to an online reading group as well as an IRL one (IRL=in real life) and quite a few of them listen to audiobooks. Being a fairly genial sort of person, I decided to give them a whirl myself *blinks* That was probably my first mistake. I picked a romance novel *whistles* That was my second mistake. I chose an author whose work I knew inside out *winces* And that was my third mistake. What I should've done was worked up to it. Slowly.

Like...real slowly. Why? Because romance stories mean love scenes and those, read aloud? Oh boy. The first time I heard a euphemism for a body part I got this appalled look on my face and burst out laughing. That says more about my juvenile sense of humour than anything else. Although, you know, I skim those parts in a book. That's not so easy to do in an audiobook. Believe me, I tried! And all I can say about that is, 'Dear authors, please write/read aloud shorter sex scenes, thank you.' That audiobook went back to the library that same day. Then I tried an author whose work I was too familiar with. Is that possible? When you put the headphones on and go to sleep and don't hear a word of it then, yes, it's totally possible. That book went back, too. Then I made the mistake of trying an author whose books feature menage scenes and, well, forever after I kept worrying that somebody's limb (an arm, a leg, a toe - who knows!) was being left out and I felt sorry for them *sigh* That book was returned in short order, too. Another audiobook had the man screeching in falsetto as he read in what he probably thought was a female voice...and then the giggles started. All I can say is, honey, I've never sounded like that! Finally, in equal parts desperation and stubbornness I found an audiobook I liked - Gerald Durrell's 'Three singles to Adventure.' HILARIOUS. But it felt like I was cheating because I love his books so much, anyway. I wish I'd realised that nonfiction would've been more my style in the first place :) I am determined, however, to get through a fiction audiobook if it kills me - although I most sincerely hope it doesn't. With that goal in mind, I have scoured the processing trolleys to find 5 possibles that I'm going to try during September.

As always, enjoy the list and if you feel like sharing your own audiobook experiences - be they positive or otherwise, feel free to leave a comment. I heart comments!

Loving Jack / Nora Roberts & read by Angela Dawe
Somehow her own fictional hero had turned up in person right under her own roof, and now all romance writer Jackie MacNamara had to do was convince stubborn Nathan Powell that happily-ever-after began at home - and in her arms...

Tosca's note: Please no weird voices. I'm just saying.

That perfect someone / Johanna Lindsey & read by Laural Merlington
Having returned from the high seas after dodging the fiancé his greedy father, the Earl of Manford, wanted him to marry, Richard Allen crosses paths with his furious fiancé and must flee with her on an ocean voyage once the Earl learns his son is alive.

Tosca's note: Historical romance - I read a heapload of romance novels so I really do have to get over the whole 'love scenes out loud' thing.

The glass rainbow / James Lee Burke & read by Will Patton
"Seven young women... have been brutally murdered. While the crimes have all the telltale signs of a serial killer, the death of Bernadette Latiolais, a high school honour student, doesn't fit: she is not the kind of hapless and marginalised victim psychopaths usually prey upon. Robicheaux and his best friend, Clete Purcel, confront Herman Stanga, a notorious pimp and crack dealer... When Stanga turns up dead shortly after a fierce beating by Purcel, in front of numerous witnesses, the case takes a nasty turn... Adding to Robicheaux's troubles is the matter of his daughter, Alafair, on leave from Stanford Law to put the finishing touches on her novel. Her literary pursuit has led her into the arms of Kermit Abelard, celebrated novelist... Abelard's association with bestselling ex-convict author Robert Weingart... causes Robicheaux to fear that Alafair might be destroyed by the man she loves..." -- Publisher description.

Tosca's note: I heart New Orleans. I heart Robicheaux. I think that'd keep me hooked past realising it's audio. Ok, and to tell the truth, I think Will Patton has a lovely, syrupy-Southern voice that I want to hear read me a shopping list so, whoa, imagine it on an audiobook. SQUEE!

Tough customer / Sandra Brown & read by Victor Slezak
Late one night Atlanta PI Dodge Hanley receives a phone call from his lost love, Houston realtor Caroline King, who asks him to come to Texas to help catch Oren Starks, a creepy over-the-top stalker who's out to kill Dodge and Caroline's 30-year-old daughter, Berry Malone. Dodge hasn't seen Berry since the day she was born. When Starks takes a shot at Berry in Caroline's house, hitting a work associate of Berry's instead, Dodge rushes to the rescue. While Merritt County deputy sheriff Ski Nyland, who falls for the equally smitten Berry, is no slouch on the case, the relentlessly ruthless Dodge plays the most crucial role in the effort to stop the bad guy.

Tosca's note: I'm familiar with Brown's books and yeah, okay, they're romantic suspense, but that could do it for me.

61 hours / Lee Child & read by Jeff Harding
Winter in South Dakota. Blowing snow, icy roads, a tired driver. A bus skids and crashes and is stranded in a gathering storm. There's a small town twenty miles away, where a vulnerable witness is guarded around the clock. There's a strange stone building five miles further on, all alone on the prairie. There's a ruthless man who controls everything from the warmth of Mexico. Jack Reacher hitched a ride in the back of the bus. A life without baggage has many advantages. And crucial disadvantages too, when it means facing the arctic cold without a coat. But he's equipped for the rest of his task. He doesn't want to put the world to rights. He just doesn't like people who put it to wrongs.

Tosca's note: I view Child's books as real 'guy' books and my convoluted thinking is that there won't be an emphasis on male/female romance dynamics, right? Which means no euphemism of body parts and, best of all, possibly no falsetto should there be a feminine perspective. Maybe...?

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